• So there I was, on amazon.com…

    softfeathersintheimpala:

    Trying to buy one of these bad boys

    image

    And I’m wondering if this particular product is any good, so I look at the reviews. This was the most helpful good review…

    image

    And this was the most helpful bad review…

    image

    I fudging love this fandom.

    (via enlightened-fallen-angel)

  • the-frostiest-of-butts:

    bepeu:

    no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed

    (via enlightened-fallen-angel)

  • pizzaismylifepizzaisking:

ultrafacts:

Source Want more facts? Why not follow Ultrafacts


First i see this. Then i see this ^. I’VE BEEN GROWING UP WITH MICHAEL CERA AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW
  • 


The Adventure of the Devil’s Foot, His Last bow, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  • "

    1.
    I say, ‘I am fat.’
    He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
    I wonder why I cannot be both.
    He kisses me
    hard.

    2.
    My college theater professor once told me
    that despite my talent,
    I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
    We do plays that involve singing animals
    and children with the ability to fly,
    but apparently no one
    has enough willing suspension of disbelief
    to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
    I daydream regularly
    about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.

    3.
    On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
    while he is still asleep,
    I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
    for a punchline,
    for other girls’ phone numbers.

    4.
    When we hold hands in public,
    I wonder if he notices the looks —
    like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
    if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.

    5.
    Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
    I will not take sex tips from you
    on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.

    6.
    He tells me he loves me with the lights on.

    7.
    I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
    feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
    He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
    Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.

    8.
    The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
    assumes we are just friends
    and flirts over the counter.
    I spend the next two weeks
    mentally replacing myself with her
    in all of our photographs.
    When I admit this to him
    we spend the evening taking new photos together.
    He will not let me delete a single one of them.

    9.
    The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
    Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
    Loving me is not a fetish.
    Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
    I am not a fucking novelty.

    10.
    I say, ‘I am fat.’
    He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
    and kisses me
    hard.

    "

    Ten Honest Thoughts On Being Loved By A Skinny Boy, Rachel Wiley

    (I have read this before, but for some reason this is the first time it has made me suddenly burst into tears. It was #8 that killed me.)

    (Source: themilitantbaker.com, via dropyourfishandchips)

  • "

    Three years later, a new girl sits cross-legged on your bed.
    She tastes like a different flavor of bubblegum than you are used to.
    She opens up a book that you had to read in high school, and a folded picture of us falls out of chapter three.
    Now there are two unfinished stories resting in her lap.
    Inevitably, she asks, and you tell her.

    You say: I dated her a while back.
    You don’t say: Sometimes, when I’m holding you, I imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume.

    You say: She was younger than me.
    You don’t say: The sixteen summers in her bones warmed the eighteen winters my skin had weathered.

    You say: It’s nothing now.
    You don’t say: But it was everything then.

    "

    — Some things are better left unsaid. (via stolenwine)

    (Source: poppyflowerpoetry, via imjohnlocked)

    • DC: We can't do a Wonder Woman movie, no one would watch it.
    • Marvel: YOU WILL CRY OVER THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A TREE AND A RACCOON AND YOU WILL LIKE IT
  • onebuttscratcher:

I’m not confident in social situations; just going up to someone in a bar and saying ‘Hi’ is going to be even more difficult because they won’t know the real me. They will just know me as a fictional person I play on the screen.— Benedict Cumberbatch

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  • egberts:

    wordsmythologic:

    egberts:

    im really pissed that palindrome isnt palindrome backwards

    Ah, yes but emordnilap is a word!

    An emornilap is any word that, when spelled backwards, produces another word. Examples of emordnilap pairs include:

    • desserts & stressed
    • drawer & reward
    • gateman & nametag
    • time & emit
    • laced & decal
    • regal & lager

    And therefore “emordnilap palindrome” is an emordnilap palindrome.

    Which I, for one, think is really frickin’ cool.

    dude

    (via chaseroftheyear)